Well, if this doesn't shock the monkey, I don't know what will...

Originally published at Searching for the Young Soul Rebel. You can comment here or there.

link to video, if the embedding is borked for you

I found this toy monkey from this woman on Craig's List who was giving it away because it makes this annoying screaming sound that she said was even annoying to her three-year-old daughter. I figured that I could use it as a musical instrument for my noise project, This Is Where the Fish Lives, and just have it in my collection of weird stuffed animals. No sooner did I come through the door with this little fracker, did my room-mate's cat, Fat Bob, get excited.

Fat Bob LOVES stuffed animals in the way that the sacred band of Thebes loved, in the way a Spartan soldier loved his comrade-in-arms, in the way that Hadrian loved Antinous. It is a beautiful and pure love when shared between two consenting men, but it is a strange and unnatural love when it is shared between a fourteen-year-old cat and a plush toy. In fact, I have many still photos of this cat making sweet, sweet love to my plush Cthulu and my plush yawning Bagpuss, and even one of those tart-shell shaped cat beds. Even the fact that this monkey is 1/4 the size of Bagpuss (who was already pretty small for Fat Bob's liking), this cat could not be stopped on his quest to rub his bright red little boner all over anything stuffed with polyfill.

And yes, this cat was neutered in 1996.