Funny <i>300</i> film thing

Originally published at Searching for the Young Soul Rebel. You can comment here or there.

300 opened two days earlier, on March 7, 2007, in Sparta, and across Greece on March 8.[53][54] Studio executives were surprised by the showing, which was twice what they had expected.[55] They credit the movie's stylized violence, the strong female role of Queen Gorgo which attracted a large number of women to the movie, and the MySpace advertising blitz.[56]

[sighs deeply]

OK, Legendary Pictures/Warner Brothers.... I want you to know about something.

That "large number of women" going to see 300 on the big screen really couldn't have cared any less about Queen Gorgo. You know why? Since six months into the film's production, they were on y-gallery, drawing the hunchback "servicing" Xerxes in a rather erotic manner. Since they first saw the trailers, they were disregarding any allegations from various leaks that this was going to come off as even more homophobic than Miller's original GN and were on fanfic.net giving detailed accounts of every virile and muscled orifice that Leonidas was putting his dick into.

Let me tell you something I've learned about women: They couldn't be arsed to give two tugs of a dead dog's cock about "strong female characters". You know what they want? Especially the 15-30 crowd with copious amounts of Internet access? Women want oiled men rolling around with other oiled men who then proceed to sixty-nine eachother while in the embraces of an Athenian gymnasia. Women want pretty boys taking cock meat as big as my arm up their tiny unlubed sphincters.

Think lesbians care more about "strong women characters"? Think again! They're the worst of them all! My gawd, Freud would die from orgasm over the pseudoscientific bullshit he could make up about the 50% of the male-male fic community on the Internet that claims to be lesbian-identified. I'm sure it would go something like "angry with what they perceive as patriarchal control, these young women seek to emasculate even the most potent symbols of masculinity in the best and most subversive ways they know how."

Women don't give a shit about "strong women". Trust me, women are just as sick as men; the main reason that they go see films is so that they can have sex fantasies about the characters. They might try and "save face", or keep up airs of respectability, or whatever by writing an eloquent blog post about "strong women characters", but that's not the reason they actually wanted to go see 300. No, they went to go see 300 because it's a film filled with half-naked men, most of whom actually look pretty good, all of whom are potential slash-fodder — yes, even the hunchback.